I've been reading the articles and listening to the videos of women voicing the horrors they've encountered in Hollywood due to Harvey Weinstein case. Having a daughter who lives in Hollywood and is pursuing a career in acting, I am deeply grateful for the women who are speaking up. It's time we put an end to the abuse of power and unravel the threads of fear that keep us bound.
Interestingly enough, I was having my own experience while reading the countless "MeToo" posts on Facebook. While all this was going on, I was having an interaction with a woman that left me feeling like I had spent the day in a centrifuge. Not because of what she was saying as much as how she was saying it and how she expected me to respond. I finally decided to take a break and sleep on it. Typically when I have an experience that creates such sudden inner struggle, I know I'm on the threshold of an initiation and I need to contemplate on how to navigate the landscape that will result in growth and moving forward.
I looked over my choices and asked myself a couple of questions.
"Which decision is aligned with fear?"
"Which decision is aligned with my integrity?"
I went to bed feeling fear coursing through my veins. My heart was pumping hard and I knew my blood pressure was on the rise. I was feeling pressured. I was feeling pressured to give this person what they wanted even though it went against my policy.
I woke up this morning, and as I sat in my morning meditation, suddenly the clouds parted and I saw my situation with complete clarity. I saw an image of women being intimidated, being manipulated with fear tactics and being forced into situations that were far from their integrity. And I realized why my interaction the previous day and my self-torment on choosing a correct response was tearing me apart. It was essentially the same energy with no where near the tangible, horrible encounters the women involved with HW have suffered. But nevertheless, it was the same energy.
It was the same thread of fear. What's this person going to say about me? What's this person going to do because they're not getting their way? These were the thoughts that reeled through my mind.
My decision was clear. I needed to take a stance that reinforced my initial boundary and was in line with my integrity. I had to cross the threshold of initiation and let go of the fear that this person could somehow ruin my life or that I was somehow going to be ostracized from my tribe of humans.
This seems like a small and insignificant moment in comparison to what the women associated with HW are dealing with, but I'm sharing this, because it's not just in the big moments that require us to take a stance, it's in the tiniest of moments as well that help to facilitate change.
In this moment of realization, there was no way I was going to undermine the work of all the women speaking out by letting this moment pass. If they are standing up for the big stuff, the more tangible and the more visible, then this is my way of supporting the healing of this horribly woven fabric of fear.
We are dismantling a HUGE structure. And for some women, they are blowing the roof off. And for others, we are crawling on our hands and knees, beneath the floorboards and ripping out the wiring. The important thing to remember, is we're doing this together. Let's take this down once and for all!